Reclaiming Yourself

Here’s a quick video on my YouTube channel explaining what I mean with the transcript below if you’d rather read about it instead of watch. Enjoy.

Hey guys, so it’s been a while since I’ve been able to do a video. Some of that has been technology reasons, other than that I haven’t had too much to talk about that I felt was important to update you on. Also because my update videos are pretty boring. So I wanted to do something different.

I was talking to a friend I have been reconnecting with over the last few years, and one of the things that came up was the fact that both of us have struggled with body image and self-esteem. And a lot of things that the two of us never talked about in high school. In high school, you’re so focused on graduation and life, and all these things you don’t think about other people.

Now that we’re both ten years removed from high school, we’ve been able to reflect back on that and who we were then in comparison to how and who we are now. One of the things we talked about was the fact that it’s so difficult to accept yourself every day. And accepting who somebody is today, versus who they were yesterday or who they were six months ago, or five years ago, or even a decade ago when both of us were stupid high schoolers.

And that’s the thing, is figuring out how to accept yourself every single day.

One thing I said to her as to why I get tattoos is because I view it as a way to reclaim myself from myself. When I go back through a lot of how I have viewed myself in the last ten years, it’s relatively toxic. And I think we can all admit that we are our harshest critic, and we tend to be incredibly toxic to ourselves. Whether it’s internalized misogyny or internalized homophobia, you name it we’ve probably all done it at some point in our lives. The most important part is learning and reteaching yourself how to love yourself. Self-love, all of that.

My way of reclaiming myself from my former self is tattoos. Tattoos don’t have to be meaningful. They can be whatever you want them to be. If you want to get the skull of a T-rex on your arm, get a skull of a T-Rex on your arm. Also, that sounds dope so I might add that to my list.

Your body and your life is what you make of it. If you need ways and reminders to accept yourself, then have ways and reminders to accept yourself every day. My first tattoo says, “Be the one you were made to be.” I’ve always struggled with being who I am supposed to be, versus who society and people dictate I should be. Some of that was me struggling coming out to myself, and some of that is that its hard to fight against what society dictates and wants for you, and thinks you should be doing.

Yes, my first tattoo is a reminder to myself that I’m really, really gay, and how I didn’t realize that in high school. And that I went so long in my life not admitting that to myself. Now that I have, I’m so much happier, so much more comfortable. I’m in my own skin. And my tattoos are a reminder to live in this moment, and that I am present in this moment. And that this is my life. That I should accept myself for the choices I’ve made.

My message for the day is reclaim yourself from your former self. However, you need to do that. Whether it’s through different forms of self-care or making changes every day. Or making one little change a month that you’ve always wanted to make. Those changes matter over time, those choices matter over time.

It’s a struggle to accept yourself every day, but it’s possible. And there’s nothing wrong with it taking time because it’s certainly taken me a lot of time.

Stay excellent.

Let me know in the comments below your thoughts on self-love, self-esteem, all of it. 

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