Sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth. It makes my heart push against my ribs and my skin clammy. Then I wish I could hit a button and restart.
Maybe restart that moment, or conversation. Entire interactions could be reset to solve how much anxiety I get.
While we can’t necessarily hit a big red button and reverse everything that happened. But maybe what we can do is take a step back and reflect.
A few years ago I took a step out of my friend circle. Its a long story full of sighs, but the tl;dr version is that I needed some time to reflect. Moving 3,000 miles away helped in taking that step, but it provided me with some breathing room to deal with my inner turmoil and grow.
In taking that step out of my friend circle, it also meant I was starting fresh. I could figure out who I was, and try on different hats.
I did not stop talking to all of my friends in Seattle. There were a few people that I kept in contact with through correspondence and text message. But there were many friends that remained at arms length with.
Recently, one of those friends got married. It had been some time since I had talked to this person, but I felt the need to say something. So I messaged them one day on Facebook to congratulate them on their marriage. They responded and we got talking.
It was weird at first, as it had been nearly 2 years since the last time we spoke. They’re part of that long story of sighs. At the end of that first conversation, we decided to talk on the phone on Tuesday night. And we did.
Tuesday came, and we spent a considerable amount of time talking about her wedding and marriage, and our history as friends.
We both felt this was a good restart. That after time for each of us to reflect, we were in a much better place to rekindle our friendship.
While we don’t necessarily get a life reset button, time can be the best way to restart. People need time to grow in their own lives, and reflect. Sometimes all you need is some breathing room.