I think people are really nice. I’m not talking in an aesthetic way (which people are beautiful), but I mean in the way they treat others. Perhaps its naive to have the belief that everyone is genuinely nice. That is of course unless their superhero/anti-hero backstory warranted some kind of negative disposition. However, I don’t think that gives anyone the right to be a complete asshat.
In thinking that everyone is nice also causes problems when I’m talking to people.
I don’t recognize flirting.
Friends have had to tell me when they’ve noticed someone flirting with me. A coworker once pointed out that another one was flirting with me because it was clearly going over my head. And my only response was to be nice back.
I do notice flirting when someone is trying too hard. If we’re acquaintances, and have never had a very long conversation before, and suddenly you’ve taken an interest in me, I might find it suspicious.
As a writer and an ambivert, I’ve spent my life observing people from the background. How they interact with others, how they are alone, etc. I have a pretty good idea how people are around someone they have an interest in.
One morning two of my friends and I went to a nearby diner for breakfast. We were seated at the counter being served by a young man who seemed to be learning the ropes as a server. While waiting for our seats to open up, I had spent two cups of coffee observing him interact with customers and other servers.
This baby-faced kid was probably a high schooler, if not recently graduated. He had finely gelled hair, bright blue eyes, and a very infectious smile.
After patiently checking on us a few times, he returned to take our orders. Both of my friends seemed unable to speak once they saw his features. I ordered my waffles and banana bread without hesitation–I really wanted that banana bread–and he disappeared to put in our orders and focus on his tasks.
My friend A turned to me. “I never thought I’d notice how you don’t react to people,” she said.
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“He came over and started talking to us for our orders and both M and I fumbled with our orders while you were very direct,” she said. “Its because he’s gorgeous and you ordered like he was any other server.”
“He’s a nice person. All he’s done since we’ve been seated and any person has come into the diner has been to talk to them. Its good customer service,” I said. I did notice his striking features, but ordering my banana bread was way more important.
People are nice; both aesthetically and in their personalities. And that’s how I’ve always seen them.